The Fear That My Heart Wouldn’t Be Held

And the truth I’ve reclaimed about vulnerability.

There’s been a quiet belief running through me for much of my life:
“Being vulnerable and speaking from the heart isn’t safe.”

I didn’t make that up. I learned it.
From childhood moments where honesty was met with silence or punishment.
From the times my softness was misunderstood.
From a world that praises strength and speed over stillness and feeling.

So I got good at guarding.
At staying composed.
At speaking around the truth instead of from it.
Because vulnerability felt like exposure.
And exposure… felt like danger.

And yet — here I am, doing the very work that requires me to stand inside my heart every day.

Holding others in their grief, shame, fear, and breakthrough.
Seeing what lives beneath the surface.
Feeling what’s unsaid.
And showing up with the kind of presence I once didn’t believe was possible.

But I want to be honest here:
Even now, even as someone who lives and breathes healing — vulnerability still edges against my skin some days.
That fear still whispers: What if it’s too much? What if you’re misunderstood again?

But then I remember something deeper:
The safest place I’ve ever been is in my own truth.
Not in hiding. Not in performance.
But in those moments when I’ve spoken from the soul — even with shaky hands — and stayed with myself through it.

Being vulnerable isn’t always comfortable.
It doesn’t guarantee understanding.
But it does guarantee integrity.
And connection.
And the kind of realness that breaks down walls we didn’t even know were there.

✨ “Speaking from the heart is no longer a risk — it’s my return to self.”

And I’ve found that when I lead from that place,
the right people don’t run — they soften. They open. They remember themselves, too.

So no, it’s not always easy.
But I’ve learned this:
Your vulnerability isn’t weakness — it’s what makes your presence powerful.

And when your heart is finally heard — not just by others, but by you —
that’s where healing begins.

With love,
Annie 🧡